It's been a while since I wrote here.
I've been busy.
I think I did nothing except work for a year. I definitely did not have any mental space to read, write or do anything else for myself.
On the bright side, I wrapped up work in July. I've been on a break since then. It was a conscious decision as I could see my mental health deteriorating. It has taken me time to recover and feel like myself. Apart from occasional identity crisis and panic, I am mostly good.
The first month was hard. I remember my body feeling panic on Saturday evenings and planning next week. On weekdays, I would not be calm in the evenings because I would be thinking about what meetings the next day is starting with. I had to actively pull myself out of this loop. Few weeks in, sadness crept in. I was technically free and despite having plenty of half-read books and drafts to finish, I could not focus. I had imagined that I'd use this break to create but I was not able to.
Those who know me would know that I have largely worked as a consultant in my career. I am no stranger to the lull in between projects. It used to cause me discomfort when I was in between work but a younger version of me did not understand the reason. The usual suspects would be not having work or a job, people around or even having money credited to your account on a regular basis(although this hurts differently 🥲). But more than anything, I liked being useful and needed.
So here is a bit about what I did manage to do:
- I used this IKEA pouch to make a Sashiko embroidery pattern
- Old Rubberband GRID notebook with a Cross Stitch Rose
- Cyanotype experiments
- Type workshop with Cyrus Highsmith
- Inktober
